my feel

Awalnya gue coba buat nutupin ini tapi gue ga bisa. Gue terlanjur sayang ama dia. Gue selalu inget dia, gue selalu ngerasa bersalah kalo dia tiba-tiba diem, gue selalu salting kalo ada dia, gue selalu seneng kalo ada dia, gue selalu mikirin dia, gue selalu jealous kalo ada cewek yang ndeket ama dia, gue selalu ngerasa marah kalo adek kelas bilang kalo dia suka ama dia. Itu kan yang namanya care? Gue emang care, tapi gue care karena gue sayang ama dia. Anak-anak bilang kalo dia selalu pingin enak sendiri, kalo dia nyebelin, kalo dia …ah apapun itu gue ga pernah peduli ama apa yang mereka bilang.

I can not forget you. I really can’t. I can’t lie my self that I still love you. In the school, I always look you. I care but I shy to show it. I can’t say that I love you. I don’t have spirit to say it. I always passion to wait you. I don’t know until when. I want you answer my question “what is your feel to me?”

You had given me signal. More signal. Is it true? It is your signal for me? I don’t know.

I try to forget you. I always try!! Always!!! I do it is like I do sains. It is difficult and have to hard work to do it.

I always feel something which strange if I see, hear, think you with other girls. It is like today. Today, I hear you be,… and in beside you,…

Loe kira gue betah kaya gini. Loe jahat, loe ga pernah bilang putus. Loe juga ga pernah bilang selesai. Loe gantungin ini semua. Lo jahat. Loe buat gue selalu berharap. Gue bener-bener nungguin loe. Gue harap loe paham. Tapi apa yang gue dapet. Gue Cuma dapet sakit. Harusnya gue ga gini. Loe buat gue setengah gila. Loe seneng??? Jahat loe.

Sekarang semuanya malah jadi aneh. Loe panggil gue “…”. Maksud loe pa? loe mincing gue? Jujur, ga perlu loe pancing juga perasaan gue masih sama kaya dulu. Gue marah ama diri gue sendiri, kenapa gue harus seneng pas loe kasih sinyal, kenapa gue ga bisa lupain loe, kenapa gue selalu mikirin loe, kenapa gue harus marah ama temen ato ade kelas gue kalo mereka ndeket ke loe, kenapa gue harus ngerasaan ini.

Something which error in my think. All about you. Why? Pa ga ada cowok laen. Kenapa gue ga pernah tertarik ama cowok lain selain loe? Oke, gue emang tertarik ama cowok lain tapi itu paling Cuma setengah hari doing. Ntar berikutnya pasti ganti cowok lagi. Tapi itu semua beda pas ada loe. Kenapa loe betah banget nginep di pikiran gue??? Sakit banget ngerasainnya…

Somebody can help me? Nothing. I never tell about you and my feel to others. I never do it. I just write it in my diary and my blog.